Guess Who's Back in the Saddle?

It’s been over a year since I posted anything on my blog. It’s a cliché to say that a lot has happened this past year but I guess it’s true. Much has happened and as usual, I’ve been busy. I will not get into a summary of this past year’s events right now. Some of it is tres heavy so I will save that dark and dirty stuff for later. I’ve decided to quit being a chicken shit and actually write about some of the family crap that’s been weighing me down the past few years.

But not at the moment...

As for why I am resurrecting my writing career now, late at night, when I have a very long day tomorrow? I suppose the spirit moved me. What spirit, you may ask? Good question. Something is pushing me to write but I am not sure what. I’ve just gotta do it, you know? And I don’t give a rat’s ass if anyone reads this. I’m taking ownership of my blog and I ain’t gonna worry about what other people think anymore. I’m not going to care if my boss reads this, my sister, my 6th grade teacher, a former (crazy) boyfriend, a right-wing nut job or even my boyfriend now. I don’t care about commas, grammar or sentence structure. This blog is MINE.

So, this week marks my one year anniversary working at my alma mater as a communications manager. My days are long but I am grateful to be employed. So many people would love to be in my shoes, as tired as those shoes seem to get on a daily basis.

I commute from Seal Beach to downtown LA, dinner is never on time and we’re lucky if it includes a vegetable. I’ve started taking a master’s level strategic communications course and I’m thinking that undoubtedly makes me insane.

The kids help keep me insane, but happy, for the most part.

Jude is 2 ½ and although he’s a smart and very cute kid, he doesn’t talk much. At all. He says some words here and there but he’s just not talking. And that’s a concern for us and for his daycare teachers.

Hey, remind me to call the pediatrician tomorrow, will ya?

Another concern is his hyperactivity. Because I did not experience that level of, er, energy from my two older kids when they were little, it’s been giving me pause. He’s also a bit aggressive. He pushes people (like a pregnant mother at daycare today), throws toys, chairs, books and he gets into these moods where nothing can calm him down except, perhaps, my iPhone. He loves this game called Traffic Rush. I rue the day I gave him said phone in an attempt to calm him down from a tantrum. It worked but in the process, I created an addict.

A lot more to say about my angel baby but, alas, I’ll come back to this topic again soon.

Richard is a junior in high school now and his grades are poor, along with his attitude. Overall, he’s a great kid. He’s on his high school surf team and he usually comes home before his curfew. He’s probably not doing any hard drugs and he at least makes feeble attempts to clean his room but we just can’t seem to be able to communicate without getting into a yelling match.

He has his learner’s permit but I keep telling him he won’t see a driver’s license until he has a 3.0 GPA and a more respectful demeanor. I’m crossing my fingers for him but it’s really up to him. I desperately want him to go to college, specifically USC, where he could attend tuition-free as long as I'm working there. OK, can we say ch-ching in unison over that one? Anyway, I love that kid but these teen years are making me grayer.

Sigh…

Julia graduated from high school a few months back and she’s now in the process of doing, well, nothing much. She says she wants to take a two-year break before attending community college. Must be nice. She also wants to find a job waitressing but thus far, she hasn’t undertaken any major actions to actually land a job. Maybe she thinks prospective employers will come looking for her? Why not? I hear the job market is looking up. Not.

After taking a short vacation visiting her dad’s family in Tennessee, she came back wearing cowboy boots and a John Deere ball cap. She also bought her friend a mug with a Confederate flag on it. We talked about that and I expressed my disappointment. I explained to her the flag is racist. She said something about Southern Heritage and Southern Pride and mentioned going back to Tennessee next year to hang out with her grandma and do some work around the farm. Over my dead body will I let her go back so her dad’s family can finish brainwashing her!

Six months ago, she wanted to join a Buddhist monastery and shave her head. A year from now, who knows? Ah, she’s a kid and probably not much different from when I was her age. Scary thought. When I was her age, I signed up and joined the military. Maybe the farm isn't so bad. Gosh, has it been that long since I signed my life away for four years?

Another sigh…

And then there’s the significant other, Ed.

Oh gee, look at how late it is! I just noticed. Guess I should go to bed now. Like I said, I’ve got a long day ahead of me tomorrow. Seriously, I don't do well on little sleep.

Dumbass.